He's Just No Good for You - Beth Wilson with Mo. Therese Hannah Ph.D

He’s Just No Good For You – Beth Wilson with Mo. Therese Hannah Ph.D.

This book did not leave me feeling well rounded and content as I expected it to. I knew that I was not in a destructive relationship at the time of reading so was looking forward to having that confirmed however, this was not the case. Some of the examples used should come with an extra warning outlining they occur even in healthy relationships and that it is the way they are dealt with that carries the balance. We are all human and we all slip up.
The only question it raised was who in particular was the writers target audience? Even if I had been in a destructive relationship (as I was led to believe by the check list in chapter 2) this book would still have gone over my head, I failed to be a part of what they were discussing, like I was being talked at rather than involved.
I felt that this book spent too much time focussing on the types of destructive relationship and took too long to reach the solutions, which were well written and valuable. The person that buys this book will do so because they know they are in a destructive relationship and are looking for answers so keeping that first section more condensed would retain more interest.
My experience of the book did not leave me with any big insight into relationships, nothing that I was not aware of before. The message is simple. If you have low self-esteem you are more likely to attract people who will take advantage of you so the key is to focus on yourself.
I think the only things this has going for it is the fact that the random quotes in the pages make it easier to browse. While reading the text verbatim these quotes can be off-putting but when flicking through to find something relevant they work. This book also comes into its own when discussing the solutions and honestly this is the key factor of self-help books, how to fix the problem and move on. There was a small boost in being told that my attitudes were right about looking after myself but then, that may be the very reason I failed to engage with the book anyway, because I didn’t need helping and did not appreciate the suggestion in chapter 2 that I did.
I wouldn’t discount this book entirely if a friend was in a destructive relationship and asked for a recommendation but I may suggest she skim the first bits.